Never Say Goodbye
by Sorlk Lewis
Summary: Crais returns and Aeryn has to make a choice... Note: originaly the prologue to 'Ich Vergisst Mich'


Title: Never Say Goodbye  
Original Title: Ich Vergisst Mich (I Forget Myself): Prologue  
Disclaimer: The beautiful genius of Farscape belongs to its wonderful creator, Rockne S. O'Bannon, and all the lovely people involved with it including Nine Networks, Jim Henson Productions, Animal Logic, etc. If I was making money from writing this stuff, do you honestly think I would still be writing only fanfic? eJrHWg  
Notes: I beg for your forgiveness. I already am expecting more flames than a burning building, so I just ask a few things of you first. 1) Read "The Uglier Truth" by UKTechGirl, 2) watch Mind the Baby and The Ugly Truth, and 3) realize Kemper made me do it!  
  
That's my story and I'm sticking to it!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
He walked down the familiar golden passageway warily…with an impending sense of doom and loss hovering over him. He knew why Crais was here again. He knew what he wanted and was going to ask for. What was worse was he knew Crais would get what he wanted. He didn't know exactly what was going to happen, but those all to familiar rattlers warned him of what was to come.   
  
Crichton barely acknowledged as D'Argo joined him from another passageway at a junction. The two walked down the passageway, everything seemingly in slow motion to John.   
  
Over two cycles onboard this living ship with the same crew of five had made them a family…even more so to Crichton than his one back on Earth. All of them were an integral part of this family, giving each other strength, surviving together, learning to live with each other, and even love each other…all of it soon to be ripped apart.   
  
His feet seemed heavy, along with his heart. Crichton wished he would have killed Crais long ago, when he had the chance…then this wouldn't be happening.   
  
Everything seemed to stop in place for a few moments as Aeryn joined him and D'Argo, on their way to the docking bay to face Crais.   
  
Crichton fingered his pulse pistol nervously under his jacket as they continued down the passageway. He glanced over at Aeryn through the corner of his eye, realizing their relationship and future would be determined today, onboard Talyn.   
  
He stopped in the passageway suddenly, grabbing Aeryn's arm and pulling her to a stop with him. D'Argo glanced at the two before continuing. John kept his eyes focused on D'Argos back before the Luxan disappeared around the corner. He closed his eyes while searching for the words to say to Aeryn…not being able to find them, but wanting to tell her something, John opened his eyes and leaned forward, pressing Aeryn up against the wall before kissing her. Surprisingly enough, she didn't pull away immediately.   
  
Slowly, Aeryn pushed John back from her. "We need to go meet Crais," Aeryn breathed in almost a whisper.   
  
Crichton nodded in response to Aeryn's all to obvious statement. She started moving down the hall once again, but not before he grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him, whispering in her ear the words he couldn't find just moments ago; "Whatever happens, we don't say goodbye."   
  
Aeryn seemed as though she was frozen by his words as he kissed her lips quickly before turning back towards their destination.   
  
"We never say goodbye."   
  
~*~   
  
Crichton stepped onto the bridge of Talyn for the third time in the young ships life. Crais had his back to Crichton, the former Peacekeeper captain looking out the forward view port at the massive amount of sparkling stars.   
  
"Crais," acknowledged Crichton as he walked further into the command.   
  
Crais nodded his head; "Crichton."   
  
"What do you want this time?"   
  
The captain turned around to face Crichton; "Want? Why do you always assume I *want* something, Crichton?"   
  
"Because I know you, Crais," Crichton paused as he checked one of Talyns consoles, "You always want something. First it was my death. Then you wanted to only save your hide. Talyn, control of Talyn, help with replacing one of Talyns weapons…every time we meet, you always want something."   
  
"Well, I wish you would think more of me than that, but yes, I want to talk with Officer Sun."   
  
Crichton turned around to face Crais, content with the way Moyas only son was doing; "Why?"   
  
"It is none of your concern."   
  
"Wrong…you want to talk with any of Moyas crew, then it is my concern. Aeryn is part of Moyas crew."   
  
"I wish to make her an offer…"   
  
"No."   
  
A thin, evil and knowing smile spread across Crais' face; "You don't even know the offer, Crichton."   
  
Crichton closed his eyes in realization of what would happen; "What's the roll of the dice then?"   
  
"I would prefer for Officer Sun to be present when discussing this offer."   
  
Crichton nodded his head sadly, knowing he couldn't keep this from Aeryn, knowing he couldn't save himself from the pain of what the offer would be…and the answer. John tapped his comms, "Aeryn, the good Captain would like to have a word with you."   
  
After a few moments, the command door slid open as Aeryn stepped inside, her eyes focused on Crais and Crichton.   
  
Once again, everything seemed to move in slow motion for John. He felt disconnected and as if he was watching everything from a third person view as it happened…including most of the conversation, until Crais finally said what he had been avoiding…   
  
"…join me on Talyn."   
  
Crichton snapped out of the daze he had been in and looked at Crais incredulously; "You can't be frelling serious!"   
  
"I am quiet serious, Crichton," Crais turned back to Aeryn before continuing; "If you join me on Talyn, I will share command of him with you."   
  
Aeryn looked at Crichton briefly; "I thought you said that wasn't possible, Crais."   
  
"It isn't…unless Talyn agrees."   
  
"And Talyn agrees with all of this?" questioned Crichton as he gazed around the command deck.   
  
"Yes, he does."   
  
Aeryn moved over to one of the consoles; "Why would Talyn need another captain?"   
  
Crais followed her, leaning over her shoulder, causing Crichton's stomach to lurch; "He is not listening to me, any longer - he wishes for another captain because he is distrustful of my judgment."   
  
Crichton laughed sarcastically, partially trying to bite back the foul taste in his mouth; "Looks like Talyn and I have something in common…no wonder I like this kid so much."   
  
Crais scowled and stepped away from Aeryn, turning back to Crichton; "What happened in the past I cannot change…I was wrong then, as are the Peacekeepers."   
  
"Cut the crap, Cappy'tan, this isn't going to happen," John turned toward the door to leave, speaking over his shoulder to Aeryn; "Let's go."   
  
"I agree…" Crichton grinned slightly when he heard Aeryns reply to him, still pushing down the rattlers and the vile taste he had since they boarded.   
  
Aeryn looked towards Crichton and then at the floor as she finished; "…I will stay, Crais."   
  
Crichton froze as Aeryns words hit him like a two ton brick, almost dropping him to his knees.   
  
"What the hell do you mean - stay!?!"   
  
Aeryn avoided his eyes as he angrily turned around; "Talyn needs another captain, so I will stay and fill that position."   
  
"No, no, no…not alone with Crais."   
  
"Why not? I can take care of myself, John."   
  
Crais amusedly watched the two 'discuss' his offer, knowing he would get his way in the end.   
  
"Aeryn, I don't like this..."   
  
"Well it's my choice and I don't care if you like it." Aeryn turned to Crais once again, "I will come back in my Prowler with my possessions in 3 arns."   
  
Crais smiled and nodded as she turned and angrily brushed by Crichton to the docking bay. He turned back to the view screen, ignoring Crichton. He grimaced as Crichton roughly grabbed the nape of his neck and shoved his face into the console. Crais felt the cold barrel of a pulse pistol shoved roughly into his skin, next to the transponder buried in his neck.   
  
"You hurt her, you die...you lie, you die...you make one false move, you die...by my hands. That is not a threat, it is a guarantee...if, and only if she does go with you. Got it?"   
  
"Understood, Crichton...and she will go with me."   
  
Crichton threw Crais to the floor before kicking him in the side and making his way to the door. Talyn beeped and flashed his lights as Crichton left the deck.   
  
Crais sat up and rubbed his neck; "Don't worry, Talyn, Officer Sun will keep her word."   
  
~*~   
  
Time was up and nearly three arns had passed. He had tried to reason with her, tried to make her understand why he thought this was a bad idea...he had even tried to convince her to let him come with her...all attempts had failed and now he was walking to the maintenance bay where his own death sentence or what felt like it would be carried out.   
  
When John Crichton turned that final corner, the sight before him made him feel as though his heart had stopped beating and all of the air in the room had be sucked out...everything hurt so bad it was as if he was in outer space once again without a suit.   
  
Aeryn Sun stood with her back to the maintenance bay doors, her pulse pistol barely noticeable under her coat, the black duffel already placed in the Prowler most likely. D'Argo walked past Crichton as he stood in the doorway, not wanting to believe what he was seeing…wishing it all to be a horrible dream conjured up by the images of Scorpius he had been seeing, and yet, at the same time realizing this was real and now out of his hands. Nothing he could do or say would stop it.   
  
Crichton would have swallowed down the lump in his throat, but his mouth had gone dry. Tears pricked the back of his eye lids as he closed them and tried to compose himself before saying…no, he wouldn't say goodbye…they didn't say goodbye. He had already told her no matter what they wouldn't say goodbye.   
  
When he opened his eyes he saw Aeryn pulling out of D'Argos embrace, and then turning to Zhaan…finishing her good-byes to the rest of the crew. Crichton stood in the doorway, not trusting his own legs to hold him up if he tried to move, not trusting his own voice to even speak.   
  
After Chiana and even Rygel had said goodbye, everyone left for command, walking past Crichton, him not even realizing they were there, only seeing Aeryn and the fact he might never see her again.   
  
Aeryn turned to the docking bay and her Prowler, wanting to leave without facing John again, but at the same time realizing she couldn't. John didn't realize that Aeryn had walked up to him until she had hugged him tightly.   
  
"Don't go..." whispered John harshly.   
  
"I am going, I have to...for Talyn."   
  
"Is it really for Talyn?"   
  
She couldn't answer him because she didn't even know herself.   
  
Aeryn gave him one more hug before turning to leave...walking out of their possible future, walking away from him. She paused once more, turning to say goodbye.   
  
"We don't say goodbye, remember?"   
  
The look she saw in John's eyes was crushing in every way, the same with the sound of his voice.   
  
Aeryn turned and climbed into the Prowler as the doors slid shut to the rest of Moya, closing her off from that life.   
  
~*~   
  
Most of Moyas crew watched the view screen sadly as Talyn starburst away, deeper into the Uncharted Territories…   
  
Fin  
  
Please don't kill me!!!!! Now, go watch MTB and TUT and read UKTechGirls fanfic, The Uglier Truth, then flame me...btw, want some s'mores? g 


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